


without you (i was broken)

by parkrstark



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Canonical Character Death, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Platonic Soulmates, Protective Tony Stark, Spidey Sense (Marvel), kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23883508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkrstark/pseuds/parkrstark
Summary: "How did you get shot? You just webbed me up 5 stories from being shot!”“D-Didn’t know it was coming.”"Dammit, Peter! This isn’t the first time your spidey sense hasn’t worked. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt because Rhodey told me I was being insane. Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t always working? You shouldn’t go out into battle like this when your powers are being wonky and--.”“You’re here.”"What?"“You’re here.” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t...I can’t really feel the danger when you’re around.”
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 67
Kudos: 657





	without you (i was broken)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic I wrote based on one of my ramblings...."So if Peter’s spidey senses can send a wave of panic when danger is coming, who’s to say they can’t sent a wave of comfort when something safe is coming? Headcanon confirmed whenever tony walks into a room, peter feels immediately comforted by him like his sense are wrapping him in a blanket, saying it’s okay, you’re safe."
> 
> This is canon from Homecoming and on. The only difference is that Pepper isn't in this. Sorry.

Tony first notices it when they’re sparring together in the tower. It has been a few months since Peter turned down the offer to be in the Avengers, but he’s still going out as Spider-Man. Tony can’t let him run out there with no training. 

With May’s permission, because she knows about the secret now, Tony started to have Happy drive the kid to the tower once a week for training. Somewhere along the way, training on Fridays turned in movie nights and sleepovers and lab days. 

Tony doesn’t dare complain. He loves having the kid around. It’s almost a year later and they’re still having their training sessions sometimes. Peter has a habit of going easy on not only Tony in the training but also the bad guys he goes against every night. He’s always afraid of hurting others. Which would be really sweet if his life wasn’t on the line. 

But Tony can’t let him out there with no training, so he doesn’t. He has him come in and spar with him to learn how to control his strength _without_ killing someone with one punch. Because Peter has that kind of strength.

They’re in the middle of their weekly session when Tony sends his fist flying towards Peter’s face and he expects Peter to dodge it or block it. But he doesn’t. Tony feels his fist crack against Peter’s nose and the blood is spurting everywhere. Immediately. 

It takes Tony a few seconds after that to realize what happened. “Oh, shit-- Pete-- I’m sorry! _Shit!”_

Peter waves him off with one hand and covers his nose with the other. “S’okay, Mr. Stark.” 

“Come on,” Tony says, ushering him to sit. “We’ve gotta slow the bleeding.” 

Peter doesn’t seem the least bit worried as he sits down on the mat next to Tony. “I’m okay.” His voice is nasally, but again, there isn’t even an ounce of worry. 

_“Okay?_ Doesn’t it hurt?” Tony gently pulls Peter’s hand away from his face and feels his own panic rising at how much blood is pouring down his face. “Shit, kid. I’m sorry.” He puts a hand on the back of Peter’s head and has him lean forward. “Breath through your mouth and pinch your nose for me, bud.” 

Peter does so but not before chuckling and saying, “You’re such a mother hen. Rhodey was right.” 

“Oh, shut up.” He hurries over to where they keep their water and grabs a towel. He’s back by Peter’s side in a moment and is helping wipe the blood off of his face. Peter doesn’t flinch but Tony is still gentle when he presses the towel by his nose. 

“Sorry for getting blood on the mat,” Peter mumbles, his voice still muffled between the towel, pinching his nose, and the blood pouring from his nostrils. 

_“Sorry?_ Don’t you apologize. I should be apologizing for almost breaking your nose.” He wipes his mouth again so the blood doesn’t drip into his mouth. “Jesus, kid, didn’t you see that coming?”

And it’s Peter’s answer that scares him more than the sight of his broken nose. 

“No.” 

* * *

  
  


“He didn’t see it coming, are you even listening to me?” 

“Listening? Oh, yeah. All the time.” Rhodey doesn’t look like he’s listening. He’s too busy spreading mayonnaise on the bread of his sandwich. 

“You’re an ass,” Tony grunts as he puts the bread on top of his cold cuts harder than necessary.

“So’re you. It’s why we’re friends.” 

“I thought we were friends because I pitied you back in college?” Tony puts some chips on his plate before handing the bag to Rhodey. 

_“You_ pitied _me?”_ Rhodey repeats incredulously. “Yeah, sure. That’s why you followed me around like a lost puppy all the time.”

“I wouldn’t say _lost puppy.”_ Tony would definitely say lost puppy. Wherever Rhodey went, Tony was right behind him. Not because he couldn’t find anything else to do, but because he was his first real friend and Tony realized having a friend he _liked_ was pretty awesome. 

“I would.” 

_“Not to interrupt this important conversation, boss, but Peter says he’s on his way down for breakfast.”_

“Watch the snark, love,” Tony says as he puts his plate down. He asked FRIDAY to let him know when Peter was coming down so he could test Peter’s spidey senses. 

Rhodey just takes a bite of his sandwich and takes with a full mouth, “Breakfast? It’s almost noon.” 

“Yeah, well that’s a teenager for you. No respect for time or anything else but their angst and sleep.” 

“Oh, you’re an expert in teenagers now that you have one? Nice.” 

“You’re, like, two seconds from being evicted.” Tony waves his finger at him as he presses himself up against the wall next to the doorway. 

“Lucky me.” 

Tony just puts his finger against his lips, signalling Rhodey to shut the hell up. Rhodey rolls his eyes and keep eating. Tony waits there, listening for Peter’s feet as he walks down the hall. He’s only there for a minute or so before he hears him. Then he grins and waits for Peter to walk through the doorway. 

His hair is messed up a million different ways and he’s still wearing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He’s not even fully awake yet. But Tony takes no mercy. He jumps in front of Peter and screams at the top of his lungs. 

Peter’s reaction is priceless. He screeches and jumps so high, he’s latched on the ceiling and staring down at the kitchen with wide eyes. Once he calms his breathing, he stares at Tony with wide eyes. 

He wants to be laughing as hysterically as Rhodey is, but he can’t. Not when Peter’s sense didn’t warn him that Tony was _right there and waiting._ “Peter! What the hell?”

Peter drops to the floor, staring at Tony like he’s insane. _“You_ what the hell!"

“You didn’t know I was there?”

Peter’s brow furrows. “The spider bite didn’t give me x-ray vision. I can’t see through walls.”

_No, but you’re supposed to sense danger long before it comes._

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Peter reaches up to pat down his bed head self consciously. 

“He’s going through some stuff,” Rhodey says. “You want a sandwich or are you on breakfast mode?”

Peter casts one more concerned look at Tony before turning to Rhodey and asking for a bowl of cereal. He seems fine now that Tony’s fright is gone. He’s relaxed and calm and smiling. 

Tony isn’t. Tony is worried. He’s scared. 

Peter’s spider sense was _broken._

* * *

When Peter goes out for patrol next, Tony has FRIDAY pull up a live feed from Karen. He expects the same delay in his reactions to threats around him, but he dodges every punch. He dodges a knife coming towards his stomach. He dodges a brick thrown at him. 

He thinks maybe it’s an on and off again kind of thing. Like sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. 

Peter comes to the lab a few days after that and Tony tosses him a wrench without warning. Peter doesn’t flinch until it smacks right into his arm. 

Peter goes on patrol that same night and dodges a bullet before it goes through his forehead. 

* * *

“Hey, kiddo, what are you doing up this late?” It’s past 3 in the morning. Tony’s in the lab trying to make a simulation test to see just how off Peter’s senses are when his phone rang. 

Rhodey called him crazy for putting this much thought into it.

“Can’t fall asleep,” he mumbles and his voice sounds tired. So tired. 

“Did you try counting sheep?” Tony teases because he’s not good at anything else but joking in serious conversations. 

“Yes. I’ve tried that. Melatonin, NyQuil, I sprayed May’s lavender sleep spray on my pillow. Nothing’s working.” He sounds frustrated and Tony wishes he could just take it all away from him so he can have one night of sleep. He doesn’t deserve to hold the world on his shoulders. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours, bud?” Tony leans back in his chair, giving Peter all of his attention. 

“Nothing...too much to know. I don’t know…” 

“That’s alright. Sometimes we just have nights like that. You want me to just distract you until you fall asleep?”

Peter’s voice is a little less empty when he says, “You don’t mind?” 

“‘Course not, kiddo. Get comfy under those blankets of yours and I’ll bore you to sleep.” He closes his own eyes as he listens to shuffling on the other end of the phone. Once he’s sure Peter isn’t going to move around anymore, he asks, “You ready?”

“Yeah.” 

“Well, then, Underoos, I think we should start with telling you about my meetings today. Those will knock you out in a moment. Lots of business bullshit.” 

And so, Tony goes into telling Peter all about his day. There are a few times that elicit a chuckle from Peter, but soon, he’s snoring on the other end of the phone. 

“Asleep already? I didn’t even get to lunch time yet.” 

Peter snores in response and Tony laughs. He puts his phone on speaker so he can hear Peter sleep through the rest of the night as he works on the simulation.

* * *

Rhodey called him crazy, but when he has Peter test it, he’s beyond excited. Of course, Tony doesn’t tell him that they’re testing his spidey sense and he doesn’t suspect a thing. 

Tony goes to the observation room to keep an eye on him as he fights the drones programmed to shoot rubber pellets at Peter so it gives him the feel of being in battle without getting hurt if he can’t dodge them. 

But Peter dodges every single one. 

He passes the test three different times on three different settings. 

Tony shouldn’t be as surprised as he is. But he hides it well. He goes back into the gym and laughs. “Knew you’d kick ass, Spidey.” 

Peter’s jumping from one foot to the next, still hopped up on his adrenaline. “That was so much fun! Can I do it again?” 

“Yeah. Sure.”

Tony goes back to the room and restarts it. Peter aces it all over again. He’s not too distracted by his pride to forget _why_ he made this in the first place. 

* * *

But Peter’s spidey sense must want him to because they fail him in the times that really matter. Sure, Tony throws him an orange and it will smack him in the forehead, but when he’s out of patrol, he doesn’t miss a single attempt to hurt him. Sure, there’s times when he gets beat up, but that’s when he’s outnumbered and his body can’t dodge five goons at once. 

But other than that, he avoids life threatening injuries in patrol. It’s on;y when Tony sneaks up on him or throws something that Tony notices his lack of reaction. 

“Maybe his body just doesn’t consider you hiding in a closet a danger,” Rhodey suggest one day. “You’re not a bad guy waiting to actually hurt him. Might be because he doesn’t consider you a threat.”

And that...actually makes a lot of sense. It would explain the broken nose that day, and the jumpiness, and not catching things. It would also explain while that was happening, he was still having great nights on patrol. 

So Tony believes him and the thought actually relaxes him. 

Rhodey’s hypothesis is proved wrong one day when it’s Spider-Man and Iron Man fighting some Hydra group wannabe. 

Tony tries not to think about how at one point, it would have been him and the team working together. They would have had these assholes gone in minutes. But now, the team...isn’t a team. 

So it’s just Peter and Tony. 

At first, there’s so much going on that Tony doesn’t even have time to worry about his spidey sense possibly not working because he’s focused on fighting and keeping an eye on the kid. Even though, it’s obvious by the beginning, that Peter is the one keeping his eyes on him. 

Tony doesn’t comment on it until the fourth time Peter saves Tony. He webs him up to a roof so the bullet meant for him lodges into the brick wall instead. He looks at Peter once he’s got his feet on solid ground again. “I just can’t quit my damsel in distress role today, huh?”

Peter laughs. He laughs because of Tony’s joke. And that must distract him because the next second, there’s a gun shot and Peter’s leaning forward, clutching his stomach. He lets out a shout of pain and Tony’s heart begins to race. He picks Peter up and flies him to another rood, that’s more out of the way so they won’t be able to shoot up at them. 

He hears gunfire below and knows that he can’t stay up here forever. Peter needs to get to a medic and Tony needs to stop these assholes once and for all. The NYPD are down below, trying to help, but they don’t have the same technology that Tony does. 

But right now, his focus isn’t on helping the city. It’s on helping his kid. 

He lays Peter down and has FRIDAY immediately scan his stomach. She tells him that it didn’t hit any major arteries, so he doesn’t have to worry about Peter bleeding out up here soon, but he still has to get him out of here. 

“Pe--Spider-Man, shit, what happened?” 

Peter is breathing heavily, staring up at the sky. “G-Got shot.”

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock,” Tony huffs. “I mean, what happened. How did you get shot? You just webbed me up 5 stories from being shot!” 

“D-Didn’t know it was coming.” 

Tony should keep his anger down. Peter didn’t mean to get shot. But he still got shot. Because his spidey sense didn’t warn him. “Dammit, Peter! This isn’t the first time your spidey sense hasn’t worked. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt because Rhodey told me I was being insane. Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t always working? You shouldn’t go out into battle like this when your powers are being wonky and--.” 

“You’re here.” 

Tony pauses his ranting. “What?” 

Peter is looking up at him now, instead of the sky. “You’re here.” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t...I can’t really feel the danger when you’re around.” 

Tony’s eyes shot wide open. “Why the hell not?”

“Some things trigger my body into giving a warning of danger, but when you’re around, my body does the opposite. When you’re around, I feel like I’m wrapped in a blanket.”

Tony just blinks down at him because that can’t be real. That doesn’t make sense. “A blanket?”

But Peter nods his head as if it makes sense. “When you’re around, I feel too safe to feel the danger.” 

Maybe if Tony learned that when Peter wasn’t bleeding out on a rooftop, he’d find it sweet. But he doesn’t find it sweet now. He finds it scary. Peter is hurt because his body is conditioned to feel safe by Tony. 

And Tony let him down. 

  
  


* * *

The bullet wound heals in two days. 

Tony’s guilt doesn’t. 

* * *

He stops joining Peter during fights and patrol. He doesn’t want to dull Peter’s senses. He refuses to be the reason Peter is shot again. 

He comes up with excuse after excuse to not go. 

Even Rhodey, who is just starting to get around in the suit enough to fight, is helping Peter. 

But Tony stays behind each time. He can’t do that to Peter. It’s better this way. 

Rhodey doesn’t agree and neither does Peter. 

“This is _exactly_ why I didn’t want to tell you,” Peter says, walking into the lab one day. 

Tony looks up from his work bench in surprise. He isn’t supposed to come today and FRIDAY didn’t warn him he was coming down. “Uh, intruder alert? FRI, dear, we’re letting anyone sneak up on me?” 

_“Peter is not a threat.”_

“Yeah, well, he will be when I have him rewrite your entire code to be a respectable AI.” He refuses to look over at Peter. He hasn’t looked him in the eyes since that day on the roof. How is he supposed to when he knows that his presence is just giving Peter comfort? It’s too much. Tony shouldn’t have that much of an influence on Peter. 

“Can you please just look at me?”

Tony sighs and turns around, finally meeting his eyes. “What can I do for you, Mr. Parker?”

“You can stop ignoring me.” He crosses his arms over his chest and narrows his eyes. 

“I’m not ign--.” 

“Yes, you are. And I know you’re weirded out by it-- I’m sorry I can’t control it. I didn’t even understand it at first, but then I noticed a pattern and...I like that feeling you give me. My spidey sense-- it’s so sharp and it hurts. But you have my body calm and happy. It’s like my brain shoots out serotonin when you’re around.” 

Tony notices Peter’s cheeks are pink as he explains it. Tony stays silent.

“And I _knew_ you’d overreact like this so I didn’t want to ruin it.”

“Peter, I’m not _overreacting._ You were shot! Because you couldn’t sense danger with me around! I put your life in danger!” 

“So, I’ll just have to be more alert when you’re with me. I can work on that.” Peter comes closer to him, his angry stance gone. “Just please don’t...do this.” 

“Do what?”

“Push me away because you’re scared of feelings.”

“I’m not pushing you away, I just find it a little strange to be on the other end of your weird soul bond when I don’t feel a thing. I didn’t know I was hurting you.” 

Peter is silent for a moment and Tony is scared that he’s giving up. That he doesn’t think Tony is worth this stubborn fight. But then he points to the couch. “Sit down.” 

Tony raises one eyebrow, forgetting about their slight argument in favor of Peter’s attitude. “Excuse me?”

“Sit. Down.” 

_“I would sit down if I were you, boss.”_

Tony rolls his eyes and walks towards the couch even though he doesn’t want to. He wants to be stubborn. He sits down and crosses his arms over his chest. 

Peter walks over to the small ottoman Tony keeps in front of the couch and lifts the lid off of it. Inside are several blankets Tony keeps in there for when Peter falls asleep in different places around the lab if they’re working here late. He picks one up and walks over and wraps it around Tony. 

Tony stares at him, waiting for an explanation. 

“That’s how I feel like when Rhodey and Happy are around.” 

_Oh…_

Peter turns around and gets another blanket and wraps it around Tony. “That’s how I feel when Ned is around.” 

Tony’s already feeling warm underneath all of these blankets, but Peter gets another and then one more. The last one is the softest and heaviest blanket he has. It’s a weighted blanket that Rhodey got him for Christmas one year. 

Tony can’t even begin to describe how...safe he feels. 

“That’s how I feel when you and May are around.” 

Tony stares at him, unable to comprehend how Peter’s body is making him feel this protected and secure just by Tony being around.

“We’re changing your training,” he says after a long moment of shared silence. “I want to work with you so you can sense things coming even with me right there.” 

Peter nods his head with a smile. “Yeah. Of course. Thank you!” 

* * *

They do work on it. Tony brings the drones out while he’s in the room with him and Peter learns how to fight without relying on his spidey sense. 

It takes a while and there’s still times when Peter doesn’t react to something as fast as Tony would like, but he gets better. 

And when Tony’s out on the battlefield with him, he just keeps an extra eye out on the kid. In case something is coming his way that he doesn’t expect because his body is relying on Tony to protect him, Tony is there to protect him. 

Tony starts to accept it though and not feel so weird about it. Sometimes he wishes he was able to feel the sensation Peter does, but if one of them has it, he’s glad it’s Peter. Just seeing Peter is enough to make him feel like he’s bundled under those blankets all over again.

He even finds himself waiting to see Peter’s reaction when he comes near Tony or Tony enters a room. Before he even sees Tony in the room, Tony can see the way his body relaxes. 

Tony can’t believe he does that. He’s able to calm the kid down just by _being there._

One night, Tony joins May and Peter for movie night at their apartment. Peter squeezes himself between the two of them and lets out an actual _purr._ Tony looks down at him with wide eyes, but Peter doesn't even seem to realize he let the sound out. He catches May’s eyes and she’s laughing quietly. 

Peter falls asleep between them within twenty minutes. May follows soon after and Tony stays there all night, hoping that maybe, it’ll keep them both sleeping soundly. It does. They sleep through the night. 

He makes a point of doing it at least a few times a month. Someone needs to look after them. Ben would thank him. 

* * *

Tony hopes that when Peter stumbles into his arms, sobbing about how he didn’t want to go, he still feels that blanket. Even though he can’t stop him from turning to ashes in his hands, he hopes at least, Peter felt protected through it, his last seconds alive. 

Because Tony sure doesn’t. 

* * *

The next five years of Tony’s life are spent in the cold. No amount of heat can ever chase away the chill in his bones. 

He knows he’s crazy. 

He never had the sense that Peter did. 

But he feels it. He feels the ice encasing his heart from the moment Peter disappears. 

* * *

“Tony, you have to come up...you’ve been down here for the past three days.” 

Tony hears Rhodey’s voice from underneath the mountain of blankets, but he doesn’t respond. He doesn’t want to leave these blankets. He wants to close his eyes and pretend like it’s that day again years ago when Peter first showed him it felt to be around him. 

“Tony, you need to eat and to shower. You can’t keep hiding.” 

“‘M cold.” Even under every single blanket, he’s freezing. He used to feel so warm. He hasn’t felt like that since Peter. 

“Tony, you’re sweating.”

“I’m cold,” he snaps. 

Rhodey sighs. “Tony…” 

He pulls the blanket over his head some more until he can’t see Rhodey’s disappointed look. 

* * *

He stays there for days until Rhodey finally convinces him to come up and feed himself. He doesn’t go outside. He doesn’t help anyone try to find Thanos. Peter is gone. They’re all gone. 

The world is cold. What’s the point?

* * *

Tony figures out time travel. 

He does the impossible to bring Peter back.

And he does. He brings him back. He hugs him. He pulls him in a hug and for a second, the blanket is back. No-- Peter’s hug is better than any blanket. 

They fight. Peter saves him. He saves Peter. Peter saves him. He saves Peter. It’s a cycle and it feels like old times. It feels like there wasn’t five years between this fight and the last. Peter and Tony are back in their rhythm. 

Peter webs a beast away from Tony. 

Tony blasts a beast’s head off when it tries to snap its teeth at Peter. 

Peter looks over him with his eyes on the mask blown wide. “Doin’ good, Mr. Stark!”

Tony smiles and he doesn’t feel the same comfort Peter’s spidey sense gives him, but just hearing his voice is enough to give him something close. 

It’s good. 

It’s exactly what Tony’s been dreaming of for the past five years. 

Then he has to go and snap his fingers. 

* * *

Peter’s screaming. 

He’s in front of him and Tony can just barely see him through the smoke and darkness around them. He’s grabbing Tony’s hand and he’s screaming. 

Rhodey comes over and tries to drag him away. Peter doesn’t let himself move. “No! Mr. Stark!” 

“K-Kid…” It’s all he can say even though there’s so much more he wants to say. He has five years worth of things he needs to say. 

“Mr. Stark…your--your heart.” 

It’s beginning to slow down. 

Tony can feel it. 

Peter can hear it.

He tries to smile and make sure the last thing he remembers Tony doing isn’t just staring blankly. 

“Mr. Stark, you can’t go--.” 

“Pete…” Rhodey is right by Peter’s side. At least he won’t be completely cold when Tony leaves him. 

“No! I just got back-- _I just got back!”_ Peter is screaming and his throat is raw. “Please-- Please. Please!” Tears are streaming down his face and Tony wishes he could wipe them away. “Please. I can’t lose you.” 

Tony feels his heart coming to an end. He feels himself letting go. 

But he feels warm. 

Peter is here. Rhodey is here. 

They’re the last thing that Tony sees before his world goes dark.

Death isn’t cold. It’s warm. It’s a warm blanket around him until he lets go of Rhodey and Peter one last time. 

Tony hopes Life has the same mercy for them now that he’s gone.


End file.
